Interesting thing about sunlight… I am often oversensitive to it. It's too bright, gives me hives (not just sunburn but hives!) I prefer indirect lighting most of the time. People who get excited by sunny days and I rarely hit it off! I prefer overcast days. I just feel better those days.

You've heard about SAAD? People who have problems from a deprivation of sunlight? I have the opposite. I have a lot of problems if I get too much sunlight.

However, there was one period of my life when I craved sunlight. It was very strange for me because I'd never been like that before. I became like "those other people!" The sunlight did not affect me negatively, and the moment I woke up, while I was still in bed, I CRAVED that light and would open my window shade and stare out the window. - There was nothing to see but fire escape bars. I wasn't looking at the view. I just needed that light. First thing in the morning. The moment I woke up, I had to have sunlight right away. It was very odd for me. I thought "Really? I'm doing this?? Me???" - I was!

That passed eventually. Now I'm back to preferring indirect or overcast light. - Wintertime light? Great for me. Everything black and white and grayscale. Don't get me wrong, I like colors! But winter light is often more soothing to me. Fall light especially. Less stark and glare too.

Not surprisingly, I found out a while ago that I'm vitamin D deficient. Oh well.



What I wish people would use more often.

Though if you're using headphones, but still singing loudly, that kind of defeats the purpose.

Maybe what we need is mouth phones… to cover mouths and muffle singing sounds.

Or those big clear half domes people would use in old sci-fi shows sometimes, to have "secret conferences." I'd totally go for sticking a dome over some people's heads!



Makes me think someone forgot to put something here. Like a placeholder in a template.

Kind of weird in a way. I mean isn't everything on a page supposed to be "content" of some kind? "Menu" is still content, right? It's not in paragraphs but it's content. Ads are content.

Oh… maybe it's content, as in more like "happy"… Huh. I hadn't even considered that.

Interesting that I see this word and my mind goes to work and organization and semantics first, and not to happy and content.



I think of faxes. Fax machines.

My friend's father had one at the house, when we were growing up, for work. The old kind with reams of paper with perforated edges. This was before most people had home computers, or home printers. Rolls of paper poured through the fax machine all the time. It was supposedly very cool and people were excited about it. I didn't understand what was so great about it. It was just words. No pictures or anything.



On the 20th… (it's a musical.) I remember the commercial's music for it. I also had a poster for it in my room.

100 too of course. I think of that.

I could live to be 100…

That's nuts.

How the heck would I pay for all those years ahead?



I don’t think I ever “almost” anything. I really don’t. I think I’m very Yoda-ish in that way. There is no try. There is do or not do. I do, or I do not do. I succeed or I fail. Or I’m still working on something and not there yet. But I don’t think I’ve ever “almost”-ed anything. Or at least I don’t think that way. I either succeeded, or didn't.




I put a padlock on my room when I was a teenager. Because I didn't trust my parents. I didn't have anything in there to hide. It just bothered me that they'd rifle through stuff. One of them would throw things out too. "Cleaning." (How about 'Cleaning" while I'm there? - And why "clean" the things that were neat? - Oh that's right… because 'since things were neat and clean I obviously didn't use them!' UGH!)

I know there are people who may read this and think "My house, my rules." That's fine to an extent. I mean of course you're right. But then don't be a jerk about it. Don't violate your kid's privacy and security in a destructive way. Don't throw away their things when they're not home without asking. Don't jump to conclusions about things you read in a diary (which is really none of your business. Sorry.) If you claim to be a "concerned parent" then be an actual concerned parent. Have a good relationship with your kid. Don't be a crappy parent, with a crappy relationship, then toss your kid's room once in a while because you're nosy, and use "concern" as an excuse!

Do I sound bitter? I am. Funny how things hang around.

For what it's worth, I've never used drugs, never smoked, never drank (I've had sips of stuff that looked good! But I don't drink. Alcohol doesn't "work right" on me, so there's no point.) I was ridiculously obedient. There was nothing to be suspicious about.

Oh and as for the "their house their rules" thing… one of my parents will still go through people's things any time they're left alone somewhere. My things, your things, friends' things, strangers' things… It's not about concern and it's none of their business. My being a kid in their house was no different.

- Think it's weird that I got away with putting a padlock on my door as a teen? - Me too! Certainly THAT was a reason to be suspicious! But really, I'd just had enough.


  • Children's Television
  • Santa's
  • Theatre class type workshop

How do those three come from that same word? They seem nothing like each other.

I wouldn't mind having a workshop. A space of my own, to build and create, that's set aside for only that purpose and nothing else. For crafts, for creating, for building… I'd like having my own workshop. But it wouldn't be in a garage or shed. I'd want it to be someplace comfortable and organized. Easy to clean, with storage space and outlets for all my tools and supplies, good lighting, and enough room to make something as small as a craft or toy, and as large as a bed or a bookcase if needed.



Thinking tv…radios… obvious stuff… static cling... hair… clothes… shock from walk rug (walking on)... shock from touching a person, sometimes. Static is bad, it seems. Pain, or something not working, or negative. But really, it is a release of energy. That is not directed where the person would like it. It is an annoyance. It is something not working the way people want it to. And it makes a sound… a crackling sound. And that annoys people too.




Our camp mess hall was like a big large wooden barn. Lots of long tables.... counselor would get food at the head of the table, and serve, and plates/bowls would be passed down the table. At some point there would be camp songs... I don't remember exactly how or when or why these started during meals, but people were very enthusiastic.


Mispelled! lol!

Ok that’s just going to bug me.

Now I’m thinking OCD… I guess I have more than I should if all I can do is look at a misspelled ‘mispelled’ word!

Although… maybe “pelled” is something… Something that was ‘mis’d – Now I have to look that up. Nope. “Pelled” is not a word.

So maybe "Pelled" should be tomorrow’s word :)



Not sure why, but I picture a novel, with a watchtower on it. Was there a novel called that? I am not a big reader, so I doubt it's anything I ever read. But I might have seen the book cover.

Oh, wait! Isn't that a religious thing? Like one of those pamphlets they give out? I think that's what I'm seeing...

I guess that really does tell you how much I read. I equate religious spam with cheap novels.



Chocolate. I picture a chocolate cake. Rich. - Because isn't that what this word is usually used to describe? Chocolate and cake? That and parties, with crystal chandeliers (which really, anyone can get pretty cheap nowadays) in a big white marble ballroom, with people in tuxedos and long white gowns, with their hair up, sporting diamonds and drinking champaign, at a party... - that's serving rich dark chocolate cake.



What I'm doing. I guess... I don't know what to do. Is that stalling, or waiting?

I think stalling is maybe, if you know what to do, you're going to do it, and you're trying to take as long as possible before having to do the inevitable terrible bad thing that is making you anxious. Waiting... I think that's different. I think waiting is... when your choice is to not do something. Not unless, and until, you can figure out how to do it ok.



Turboencabulator. Complete with nofur trunions, reciprocating dingle arm, and of course side fumbling is effectively prevented.