Hearts

Queen of ____

Playing cards

- It's the "s" on the end that's making me go in this direction...

Heart.

I remember when I first saw mine. The only time I think. In my 20s during a stress test of some kind. I saw it beating on the monitor, in black and white. I remember thinking how... it's tough to say.... "tired"... Maybe...? "Vulnerable?" It looked?

People are used to seeing babies hearts beating inside of them, and getting emotional, but I saw my own. And somehow, I felt sorry for it. Like, there it was, working, always, unseen and not appreciated as much as it should be. Because I hadn't known before. Hadn't really seen it doing its thing. I knew it was there of course, and had felt it, but it's one thing to know your heart is working, and to feel it beating. It's another to actually see it, pumping, unending, doing its job, on a screen, in black and white. I don't know what I expected. Something more solid looking? Maybe? This looked like a sack.

I wanted to wrap a blanket around it, and take care of it. Let it take a nap or something. To give it rest. And then of course I realized it could never rest. Not ever. Not even for a few minutes. It would always work, 24/7, forever, until it, and I, die. I'd love to let it sleep.